


you are in my blood like holy wine

by kronoz



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, New Moon AU, i take the canon and make it sadder - for FUN, new moon is its own warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26108923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronoz/pseuds/kronoz
Summary: At the end of the day, Bella is Edward's singer, and there are some forces stronger than love.AU: Edward attacks Bella at her birthday party and is forced to reckon with not only her fragility... but his own.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	you are in my blood like holy wine

Edward had always known he was a monster, but even he didn’t truly understand how dangerous he was until that moment when he lost himself in the heavenly scent of Bella’s blood, roughly pulling her closer to him by the neck as his teeth angled towards her pulse. He barely registered Alice, Rosalie, and Carlisle dragging him off her and forcing him outside (Emmett and Esme likewise taking care of Jasper) - only seeing them as obstacles in his path as he struggled to answer Bella’s song. They fought him tooth and nail into the mountains - he broke free twice, almost making it back to the house before they caught him and threw him back. He was faster, but there were too many of them and his bloodlust made him sloppy, he couldn’t focus on their thoughts when all he heard, felt, tasted was the song of her blood, calling to him across the forest. It wasn’t until Rosalie ripped one of his legs off at the knee that he started to come back to his senses. And the reality of what he’d done hit him like a freight train. He could have killed Bella. He _would_ have killed her, if his family hadn’t been there to intervene. If this had happened when they were alone… His mind raced, and he finally succumbed to his family as they dragged him back through the mountains, as far away from Bella as possible. Yet no meager distance could keep him from hearing that siren song.

He had tasted her heavenly blood just months before, just a sip really, but part of him would never be satiated until he tasted it again. Her blood will never stop singing to him, and he was a fool to think he could control himself. It took him the entire night to calm down enough to not go after Bella and finish what he started, Esme and Rosalie staying with him in the mountains the entire time while Carlisle patched her up and took her home. How could he have ever thought that she was safe around him?

In that moment he made a decision, and as he turned North, he didn’t look back.

oOo

Bella curled up on her bed, cradling her bandaged, burning arm against her chest, staring at the wall but not seeing anything except for the flash of Edward’s teeth, the pure unadulterated bloodlust in his pitch black eyes as he lunged for her. One of his hands had wrapped around her neck before Rosalie tackled him to the ground at Alice’s warning cry, and she shivered despite her many blankets, as if his touch had flooded ice through her veins. It was nothing like when James had taunted and brutalized her to a slow death, no, she had been prepared for that, walked in willingly, ready to die if it meant her mother could live. Nothing could have prepared her for this. One moment he was laughing and shaking his head at her embarrassment over receiving so many gifts - was today really still her birthday? - and then the sharp sting of a papercut, a pain so immediately forgettable that she thought nothing of it, until she looked up to find no recognition in his gaze, only an ancient, insatiable thirst.

In that moment she realized she did not want to die.

_This is exactly what you wanted,_ part of her hissed amidst the numbness in her mind. _You’ve been begging him to turn you since you found out what he was. This is all you ever dream of, to become like them - no matter the consequences._

And there were consequences. Everything she thought she knew about him, his love, his devotion, the safety of his embrace, vanished the moment he smelled her blood - her blood, and nothing else. That’s all she was to him when it mattered most, a lamb for the slaughter. He was even more dangerous than the legends had promised. They all were. How could she have ever wanted to be like them? To always be one breath, one drop away from killing the people around her, even someone she loved? She wasn’t ready. Perhaps she never would be.

But, she remembered his words in the hospital in Phoenix, all the promises he had sworn, the cool press of his lips against her forehead, the life they dreamed of building together. They survived James, despite all odds, despite her blood dripping from his teeth as she flitted on the cusp of life and death. Edward had found the strength to stop, to save her from his kind, from himself. Their love was strong enough to save them. She had to trust that it would be able to do so again.

They would talk tomorrow, she decided. They could work through this. They had to.

Still, she did not sleep, the walls pressing in on her as she fingered the ghost of his grip on her neck.

She was late for school the next morning, having waited out in the rain for almost an hour before she realized he wasn’t coming to pick her up. None of their cars were in the parking lot when she finally arrived, and she struggled to keep her shaking hands steady enough to steer her truck into the last empty spot. She took her usual place in the back of the classroom but the empty seat next to her felt like a gaping wound. _Maybe they’re all out hunting, trying to recover from last night._ The thought comforted her enough to make it through the day, but it was as if she was moving through water, all sound muddled, her actions slow and off balance. She didn’t remember driving home, but as she lay awake in bed that night, waiting for him to join her, she felt a hole start to tear in her heart.

He didn’t show up at school the next day either, or the next, or any day for the rest of the week. Monday morning she found herself pulling up their long driveway, shaking hands moving on their own accord. She stood in the open doorway, staring blankly at the empty house. Empty, as if it had never been lived in at all. Time seemed to stand still around her. Then she turned, her feet stumbling over the porch steps, and walked into the forest.

October.

November.

December.

Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title, "are you strong enough to stand, protecting both your heart and mine?"
> 
> [originally posted](https://the-golden-onion.tumblr.com/post/186039676842/bellaauroraswan-edward-should-have-been-the-one) on my tumblr on July 3rd, 2019, but I wanted to preserve it here as well!
> 
> for now this lives as a one shot, but I may come back around and add some more to this au in the future, it's so delightfully angsty. Nova, my current main wip can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24619555/chapters/59477461).
> 
> please let me know what you think in the comments, and feel free to talk to me on tumblr, [@the-golden-onion](https://the-golden-onion.tumblr.com/)!


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